Within

Life's going pretty well at the moment. I'm really happy about a whole bunch of things, and excited for the future. In a recent post I mentioned meeting someone who made me feel giddy - her name is Lynda, and she's awesome. We met through a friend, and I think we had really good chemistry. She's great fun to be with.
Changes are on the horizon, however. In October I'll be travelling to South East Asia. I'll be going for a few months, and trying to see and do as much as I can. So I'm leaving my jobs and moving out of my flat and saying farewell to a lot of people I love. After the trip? I'm not too sure, though I feel like I'll move back to NZ. Lynda and I have talked about this a bunch, which is all you can really do. Things are great; timing not so much. I love life here right now, and there are so many reasons to stay. At the same time, it's time to go. There's so much to see. With this in mind, it's time to charge straight fucking ahead at life itself. 
I'm not sure how much of my travels will be captured here, but stay tuned

Tell

If I'm being honest, I try and be a really honest person. Especially about how I feel about people. In the past, I think I've wasted time keeping my feelings to myself, especially with things like crushes. It's so much better to say how you feel and find out how they do, than to let it dwell inside you. I recently came up with the oxymoron: 'everyone just shut up and say how you feel'.
I also like telling people I love them. If someone means a lot to you, you should definitely let them know. You know the big cliches - 'I wish I'd told them how I felt' etc. It would be pretty bad if something like that happened. So if you love someone, let them know.
Beth and I tell each other often. She recently said "if we had a dollar for every time we said 'love'..." We'd be rich! And wouldn't die wondering

Ships

So, the rather wonderful Naomi and I broke up. She realised she still had feelings for an ex. I joked that it would be good if there were dials with which you could control how much you felt for someone. We both started off not looking for anything too serious, but it became really meaningful, really quickly. Oh, those dials! We'd also said in spite of what happens, we'd be great friends - which is how it's turned out. It got me thinking about friendships, relationships, all those 'ships'.
It feels really amazing that many of the most special people in my life are ex-girlfriends. Girls that I've dated, spent beautiful time with, and loved. I could tell them 'I love you', then and now. Maybe our time together can't help but flow in to our friendship. Perhaps breaking up isn't *that* bad if it leads to such good things. And how does love differ between 'girlfriend' and 'just friends'? I guess it's some kind of continuous spectrum. Before me lies a whole panel of dials, one for each person in my life. They spin of their own accord.

Dear Christchurch,

Hey, how's it going? I've been meaning to write, and I've had plenty of time to reflect on what you mean to me in the three months since I left. In a word, you're incredible, and have played such a pivotal part in my life.
As I'm sure you remember, I moved down from Palmerston North in 2007, and knew nobody. I lived at a student hall, and it was a while before I met some real Cantabrians, but I did my best to cycle around and check out everything you had to offer. I was in a really good space to try new things (having attended Outward Bound six months prior), and things fell in to place nicely (radio, animal rights activism, uni malarkey). The next year, I worked as a residential assistant, and felt like I really grew as a person. I also started to discover your local music scene, and the many wonderful people that went with that.
Through meeting such people, in 2009, I moved closer to the city, in to the Log Cabin, which I can safely say is the best flat I've ever lived in. A tremendous bunch of truly outstanding people. And from there I met more of your local people. It was a beautiful cycle.
I loved exploring your streets, buildings, parks and outdoors. You are (or were) home to some of the greatest people I've ever met, who I love dearly. It was hard to leave you, and this does no justice to how much you truly mean to me. I know things will be rebuilt and spirits restored, and I'll be back again to spend more amazing time with you.
For now though, just know that you're always on my mind, and always in my heart.

With love and admiration
-David
x

Earthquake, redux

Things have been a flurry since the most recent earthquake. I travelled to Palmerston North for a wedding of friends from highschool, and Gina and I went to Auckland for a few days. The wedding was fantastic: a really beautiful ceremony, the chance to see lots of old friends and family, and a fun reception. Things in Christchurch were a pretty common discussion.
While I was in PN, Gina and I planned a short trip to Auckland. We stayed with her dad in Howick and explored some of the central city, ate some yum food (including Nice Blocks!), met up with Stacey at First Thursdays, and played Cranium. Gina's family have been fantastically nice. I stayed with her and her mum for a few days after the earthquake. And I've fallen head over heals in love with Gina.
Still, being out of the city, and not having been in to the CBD I adore so much leaves me feeling really disconnected. Things feel in a real limbo now that I've finished uni, and am working a job that I like, but isn't a career. I think a change is coming

The Paper Heart Project

This has been going for a long time, though it's taken ages for me to actually post about it. It's pretty straight-forward though. A bunch of hearts, with nice messages, on the streets of Christchurch.
The two in the middle column were the first I put up, months ago. A few are left for people to add their own touches, like those on the right ('I Belong To Johnny -Bianca xoxo'; 'Dear Tracey... Love, Vincent').

Oh, love.

Kiri

I'm really excited, because one of the greatest people ever (and one of my especial favourites) is coming to Christchurch! Her name is Kiri, and as I've mentioned before, she means more to me than I could ever hope to really explain here. Regardless, here are some thoughts:
We met when I was 17. I was in my last year of high-school, and we started going out.We were together for three and a half years, and so many things happened in that time. I think the biggest one was that Kiri really helped me 'open up', and become the kind of person I wanted to be - I always found it difficult to express myself. A lot of our early relationship felt up and down, but things really worked out, and we lived together for two or so years. She just has the biggest heart, and... I don't really know what else to say. I was just listening to God Only Knows, which really made me think of her.
Together, we experienced: elation, miscarriages, terrible decisions, love, many kittens, caring for a two-year old, making things work from nothing, serendipity, death, wonder, late nights, illness, togetherness. She changed my life in so many ways.
And she's in town for a few days this Sunday. I can't wait.

Wellington. Again

This past weekend I flew up to Wellington and spent four wonderful days there. It was quite impulsive; I missed Beth heaps, and the next time I was going to be passing through wasn't until August.
It was so great to see her again. It felt like ages since we'd seen each other. Is ten weeks ages? I think so.
We went to a gig each night, and I was very impressed by all the bands I saw - Mammal Airlines, No Aloha, Seth Frightening, Grayson Gilmour, The Sing Songs, Jordan O'Jordan.
We went swimming in a fancy spa, ate yummo foods, watched some movies, tried to catch leaves, and talked about 'where we were at'.
It felt good, and it feels like things make sense again. On the last day, we sat on the balcony, and watched the sun set. It felt like a fitting analogy for the whole trip.

A trip to Wellington

I went up to Wellington on Thursday - it was Beth's birthday. She didn't know I was coming, and I was incredibly nervous, sitting in her room, hearing her walk up the stairs after work. She walked in to the room with her palm outstretched. The words "Hi David!" were written there. "Agh! Who told you I was coming?" I asked. "No one. I just figured you'd come up". It's like no matter where we are, we're always touching by underground wires.
We had a great weekend together. We had beers and kebabs, walks around the city, special moments, and a fraudulent admission to Homegrown. It was a flying visit, but amazing all the same.
Leaving her was, as usual, so hard. "I love you", we both said. Crossing the road from her place, I turned to see her at the top of the stairs. Further down the road, I checked again, and she was peaking out from the balcony. I waved, and turned and cried in to my palms.